GRIMMJOW: The Owner's Guide and Manuel
by Doggy L.O.A.C.W.D.M
Summary: I do not own Grimmjow. Tite kubo does. I don't own the guide idea. Done by request.


Done in request to "I Love Szayel Aporro Granz"

_Disclaimer: I do not own Grimmjow. Tite Kubo does. I do not own the Guide idea. Does anyone know? Tell me please. I can't stand not knowing :D._

**GRIMMJOW: The Owner's Guide and Manuel**

Congratulations valued customer (insert name here). You have just purchased model number 349582576632846828 of the GRIMMJOW unit in our Espada Catalog in section F. This is your Owner's Guide and Manuel that should address all basic information, needs, warnings, and modes about GRIMMJOW unit number 349582576632846828.

**Basic Information: The GRIMMJOW unit standard data**

Name: GRIMMJOW unit of our Espada catalog in section F.

The Type (what to expect): Loud, Disrespectful, Acts like the first ever man with PMS, Anger management problems, the ability to PWN you HARDCORE!

Manufacturing Date (year/month,/day: hour/minute/second/milliseconds):

2009/9/1: 7/50/23/50

Manufacturing Company: Scattered Scream © co. Commercials and catalog provided by Just A Marionette© productions.

Weight (customized by customer for customer convenience): Anorexic Skinny **Average** Mildly Obese Obese Morbidly Obese

Height (customized by customer for customer convenience): Grain of Rice Garbanzo Bean Squirt Bottle Up-to-your-hip **Average** Taller-than-a-door House Roof Space Shuttle

**Equip List: GRIMMJOW's Fashion sense**

(Quantity: 1) Hollow Mask. Cracked away except for the portion around mouth. Piece of a right jaw.

(Quantity: 1) White Shirt. Long Sleeve that reach wrists. If folded over to elbows, "cuffs" are black. Shirt is open to reveal chest and hollow hole in abdomen.

(Quantity: 1) Poofy white pants. As it just stated, they are poofy. There is a small part poking out at the middle of the top

(Quantity: 1) Black Belt. Holds down the small part of the pants (that pokes out) to the chest so the pants don't fall down.

(Quantity: 4 or 2 pairs) Black Socks. Separate the Big toe and from the rest.

(Quantity: 2 or 1 pair) Sandals.

**New Feature!** (Quantity: 1) Painter Outfit. Completely white. Shirt available in long sleeves and sleeve less. Pants. Brown Belt. Brown boots (we see the unit as a painter in the House cleaning setting).

**New Feature!** (Quantity: 1): Cat outfit. Blue. Available cat ears, tail (that moves with every step), and gloves and socks in the shape of cat limbs.

**New Feature!** (Quantity: 1) Chibi Gigai. Complete with large dark blue eyes with the capability of chibi tears, sparkles, and the wide OMG WTF. This is only available in the A la mode setting.

**The Box: Removing The GRIMMJOW Unit**

This is an important step because the GRIMMJOW unit has known to have been so hostile, it hurt air. So to avoid our beloved money givers...er…customers getting shredded and then having to bury the parts our selves, we ask that you do one of the following. Bring your box containing the unit to: your backyard, your old car you've been trying to sell for years or you whiny ass stuck up rich neighbor's house. Remove the plastic surrounding the unit and then wrap yourself up in it as best you can (this is to avoid injury while you release your unit). Shake the box around hard. If you hear a "WHAT THE FUCK?!" you know your unit is ready for removal. Get behind the box and poke the lid off with your finger. Once the unit gets out in an angry fury, hide like a little girl in the box while you watch the GRIMMJOW unit make shit explode. Once the unit has taken out its deadly-as-fuck fury, you may emerge and introduce yourself, making sure to state you're the unit's master and this is it's new home. Of course, this won't automatically mean the unit will give you much command. This unit has problems with being disrespectful and is a firm believer of the "if your weaker than me and expect me to go through your orders, I'm going to shove my fist up your ass and out your eye" theory. Give the GRIMMJOW unit some catnip, a toy mouse or a dead ULQUIORRA unit. Your unit should begin to give you some respect by then.

**Programming: For Situations or just activity**

Piss off old man _(default)_

Highly Aggressive

GIMME CHU STUFF BITCHES!

Sensitive (locked)

Home décor

Piss off old man _(default)_:

This setting is mostly annoyance. This unit will be very easily annoyed. The GRIMMJOW unit will also be impatient, loud, and slightly or mildly aggressive. Not to much that can't be handled by the owner. Just keep away from children (or there won't be any more).

Highly Aggressive:

In this mode, your GRIMMJOW unit gets HARDCORE! It unleashes full throttle. It begins crushing, diss assembling and exploding all this shit. It even surprises us. Very dangerous in this mode. DO NOT PISS HIM OFF! HE WILL FUCK. YOU. UP. BIG TIME!

GIMMER CHU STUFF BITCHES:

Your GRIMMJOW unit will have extreme increases in his selfish gauges that are built into his emotion processor. He will be like a spoiled kid. The most annoying little shit you can't escape. The GRIMMJOW unit will become possessive of everything. The bed, your room, your shower, your stuff, you boy friend, your girlfriend, and maybe even you. There is still something unstable about this setting that we are currently trying to improve on. The malfunction is that it can slip into this setting with no reason or warning. What signs are there to know for sure? He clings to you saying "NO! NO GO OUTSIDE FOR YOOOOUUUUUU! YOU STAY HERE WITH ME OR I KEEEELLLL YYYOOOOOUUUUU!!!!!" and things of that nature.

Sensitive _(locked)_:

In this locked setting, your GRIMMJOW unit will become caring and sensitive like he actually cares (go figure). Your GRIMMJOW unit will begin wondering if your hungry, if you need help with homework, why you look so bothered or if he needed to go beat up your History teacher. This unit will begin to act like "mommy's little helper" and will be more than happy to do chores for your happiness. The only way to unlock this unit is to get your ORIHIME unit to get pestered by other Espada models and then get your GRIMMJOW unit to save her. This will unlock the honorable side of the GRIMMJOW unit and then get it to the Sensitive setting so that he may commence in his momma's wussy boy actions.

Home décor: 

You may dress up your GRIMMJOW unit in the home décor setting. Is your house in need of some creativity? Some cuteness? Some fuzzy thingy that no one knows the species of? Well that's not a problem in the home décor setting. With the slip of some costumes and viola! You have your very own large Espada looking blue cat! Complete with amateurish fake meowing (the kind that goes like "Hi! Oh wait, I mean…uh…QUACK! O_O") and all.

**Interaction: Other Units for you**

Why bother? He hates everything.

**F.A.Q: The Complaints of Whiny Ass Customers who won't leave us the hell alone**

**Q: **My GRIMMJOW unit is taking me and my stuff hostage because my boy friend is coming to visit. Help a girl out here?

**A:** Your GRIMMJOW unit is in the GIMME CHU STUFF BITCHES setting. Just look at him and flick him on the nose or spray him with a squirt bottle and he should straighten his act. Cats hate water…

**Q:** My GRIMMJOW unit isn't listening to me. I told him we need to go shop for some dinner and he just stays on the couch ignoring me. I think I'm going to just make him submit to me. What do you think?

**A:** Whatever you do, do NOT confront the GRIMMJOW unit. It will result in getting officially shanked and then PWND (or spanked if he thinks your some whiny kid). Just give him your dead ULQUIORRA unit or say "Ya know GRIMMJOW… if we don't get the groceries soon, I can't make you that tuna and salmon cat food you like so much." This should get his immediate attention and will teach him that you can give him what he wants and he'll give you respect.

**Q:** My GRIMMJOW unit came with black hair and wouldn't pay attention to me. Then when I put it on Home décor, it got out a tennis ball and started barking…

**A:** That is our CEO of our units, Doggy, Leader of all cookies who defy me. Please return her and make an exchange for the GRIMMJOW unit. Once we get that done, we can beat the shit out of those men in postal service for taking our their grudge on the owner cause we thought the bitch wasn't doing her work and slacking off some where. Thank you for your notice and you should receive your unit in 24 hours.


End file.
